(the) david press.com

By Evan Dorkin, easily the funniest man in comics. Every time an issue of DORK comes out it takes me days to finish reading because literally every page gets me rolling around on the floor laughing my ass off.  This ends my whining about the death of Patrick McGoohan, but if you’re not familiar with the best SciFi series of the modern era, you can watch all seventeen original Prisoner episodes here.  AMC is also doing a new series starring Jim Caviezel and Sir Ian McKellan.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nIT5sFhw4sU]

And if you need me to explain to you why this never gets old, then you need to get your shallow ass to a video store and rent Arrested Development. Trust me, you’ll love me for making you do it.

I’ve recently become attached to E’s irreverent pop-culture commentary show, “The Soup” hosted by Joel McHale.  Below is his reaction to the Twilight hysteria.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qnGXLnd6XGA]

This concludes my coverage on this movie, I have a ridiculous amount of work to do in the next three days.

However, I’ll leave you with something I’m calling right now: If Jon Stewart ever retires from “The Daily Show,” McHale should take over for him.

Dear Don Draper, I’m haunted by the memory of a girl who left me. How do I get this girl off my mind?

I can only see myself in my wife’s eyes. You can call that love or trust but it only works when my gaze is returned, when I realize I’m not just a loving and trusting man, but one who’s loved and trusted - and not for what I appear to be, but for what I am. Recently Betts began looking away.

The fault between us was mine. Without her gaze I forgot myself. I forgot what she even looked like. My wife. Like you, I was haunted by an absence, even if she was always there waiting. I know it’s just a look, but believe me when I say it’s the same. It almost would’ve been easier if she’d left altogether. 

Now I could take Sally and Bobby up in each arm and squeeze the life out of them - I could crush them it hurts so much - but the love in their eyes, while equally meaningful, is unconditional. They’re still kids. Betty’s gaze is something else entirely. It’s a look I only get when we’ve reached an understanding, which, unspoken or not, always feels like an agreement, an “I do” or affirmation repeated back and forth and back and forth.

I know this may not help. Maybe that girl saw something in you that wasn’t there. Maybe that’s what haunts you, an absence you never knew you had. I can’t say. And I know it’s no comfort, but I doubt you’ll ever get her off your mind. A woman haunts you forever.

When your gaze is returned as Betts does mine, the women or demons or spectres haunting you won’t go away. They won’t stop hurting. It’s just easier to shoulder the weight together. The best you can find is new ghosts to replace them.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ngB7WAoP3tE]

The good sir, Brian Heater, has provided us with videos of the Cory Doctorow/DJ Spooky talk last night at the Helen Mills theater. Those who were unable to make it, like me, are now able to view two of the most creatively intelligent and politically correct people on the planet talk such things as civil liberties violations, and using your art to comment on society.  I’m not even joking, everyone needs to examine both Cory and Paul’s work, it will open your eyes and it should motivate you to spread their word around as it will make us all better for it.  These two are two of the smartest social commentators on the planet and should be given the attention of presidential candidates–they talk about things that matter to creative and free people.  So take twenty minutes and let them enrich your life.

Myriad Issues has more on the talk.

What Would Don Draper Do?

52. Dear Don Draper, I just started smoking and find that it calms my nerves as well as making me appear mature and sophisticated. I know you’re a Lucky Strike man, but what’s your opinion of Pall Malls?

Pall Mall has a slogan: “Wherever particular people congregate.” It’s fine for the converted, but their campaign needs a punch. Look at the coat of arms printed on the front and back of every package of Pall Mall cigarettes. A Latin phrase on the shield, “Per Aspera Ad Astra,” translates as “Through Difficulty to the Stars.” Underneath the shield, a banner reads “In Hoc Signo Vinces” or “In this sign, you will conquer.” Pall Malls are never uncertain - they’re with you in difficult times and in victorious ones. They’re the familiar something you carry with you or follow into battle. A sign, an honest code. A package of Pall Malls is security in your pocket: always there and waiting for your return, like home, wherever it may be. Pall Malls are a taste of home.

If you look at James Lipton’s resume, I imagine the Work Experience section reads something more or less like this: interviewer, Sacha Baron Cohen punchline and pimp.

Yep, you read that right.

Bona Buddies, originally uploaded by davepress.

Great times celebrating with Brendan and some others for his birthday.

I killed about five crabs with nothing but my bare hands, a flimsy wood mallet and a plastic knife. We walked around the city, sang karaoke and enjoyed each others company. Its been a long time since I last hung out with Brendan’s brother’s friends from SBU and that was a welcome occurence.

In other news, to add to the future Google searching by Henry Leo DeFraction, I want to say congratulations to Matt Fraction and Kelly Sue DeConnick on the birth of their son, Henry Leo. Laurenn McCubbin has the details. Congratulations to the three of you on the many fantastic days to follow this great day.

During my absence, Bridget and Ali in a whirlwind of girliness have transformed the formerly trashed Apartment Number Eleven into a beautiful space. Tonight, we celebrate with a wine tasting at Lincoln Center.